The Love Bomb
Could asking thirty-six very specific questions make you two fall in love even more? It’s called the “Love Bomb” for a reason!
Psychologist Arthur Aron found that asking a very specific set of 36 questions can create closeness and intimacy even between two complete strangers.
Mandy Len Catron of The Love Story Project then wrote about this in “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” the New York Times followed suit with “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love,” and Jonathan Fields published this under “The 60-Minute Love Bomb” in his best selling “How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom.
This has worked for strangers all around the globe. Now imagine what would happen if you went through the whole process with your partner even though you’re already in love!
It’s a fun, intimate, and insightful way to spend a few hours together getting to know the person you thought you already knew! You just might be surprised at what you learn…
Set the Scene
The Love Bomb is best done in a quiet, intimate environment where you can focus on each other and won’t be distracted.
This could be at home, out somewhere romantic, or – if you pick the right restaurant where you can have a quiet table together – over dinner out.
Asking the Questions
Take turns asking each other a question and then answering the question yourself.
Upon completing the 36 questions, gaze into each other’s eyes uninterrupted for 4 minutes.
The staring may sound goofy, but that’s okay. Falling in love can be goofy at times and that’s a good thing.
Aron’s 36 Love Bomb Questions
Here are the 36 Love Bomb questions from Arthur Aron’s original study.
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.